Room Eight | Gatemouth’s Voter’s Guide (Part Four-The State Assembly)

“Dear Emperor Gatemouth, In the land of pomposity, your reign is supreme.”

– Ravi Batra (who ought to know)

For New York City Residents, the Assembly is the good cop to the Senate’s bad. Those who have any illusions concerning what this means are reminded to read the following:

The Member of the Assembly is the elected official in the City with the smallest constituency, allowing parochialism to be at its most manifest. There are 62 Assembly Districts in the Naked City; here are a few of their stories:

22^nd AD (Queens): The attempted comeback by Former Assemblywoman and Councilwoman Julia Harrison against multiple Asian candidates (now down to two) in an Asian-majority district is often compared to David Yassky’s race for Congress, but there are crucial differences. Yassky is running out of personal ambition (as are his opponents); Julia, at 127, (or however old she is), has long ago run out of ambition, and has become a senile crank running as the "anti-Asian" candidate (which, btw, may find her as much a constituency among the district's African-American as among it's whites; maybe even more so.) Another difference is that Yassky is being accused of being a racist because he's running. Julia is running because she's a racist. She used to be quite a liberal; got into politics to support Gene McCarthy. Made an inspiring speech in 86 in support of the gay rights bill (and outed her late brother in the process, although, unlike KT McFarland, Julia did it out of affection). But, then senility set in and she turned into David Duke crossed with Tom Tancredo. Same thing happened to Arthur Katzman and Mary Pinkett, two other great Council liberals who previously lacked a prejudiced bone in their bodies; very sad indeed. The other candidates, Terrence Park (decidedly not Terrence Parkside) and Ellen Young, are engaged in one of those new immigrant tribal wars (see also Queens 39, Brooklyn 46 and Manhattan 72) that baffle outsiders; me amongst them. Apparently, if you love John Liu, you will like Ellen Young. Park benefits from the perception of some that since the Chinese have the Council seat the Korean community should get their own piece of the pie, an argument which would be far more compelling to Democratic primary voters if there were more Koreans among them (a lesson it took the Russian community in Brooklyn the better part of a decade to absorb).

25^th AD (Queens): Evidence would seem to indicate that both Morshed Alam and Rory Lancman are insufferable egomaniacs. But, the evidence also indicates that only one of them is an insufferable egomaniac who sucks up to Republicans. Frank Padavan is almost a case study of what is wrong with Albany. Morshed Alam is Frank’s padawan Therefore, three cheers for Lancman. Ironically, both these guys once ran against Padavan. Morshed, who did it first and caught him by surprise, actually did much better. However, it should be remembered that, while Rory did not assist Padavan against Morshed, Morshed assisted Padavan against Rory, so perhaps that accounts for the difference. The only puzzling aspect of this race is the support for Lancman by the Queens Democratic Organization; since they always want Padavan to win, you'd think they'd be more grateful to Morshed for doing their dirty work.

28^th AD (Queesn): This Republican race is a meaningless byproduct of the war for control of the Queens County Republicans, but anything that keeps ‘em fighting among themselves is worthy of some positive attention. Kudos to the Haggerty boys and the guy in City Hall who pays their bills!

39^th AD (Queens): The incumbent is Jose Peralta; another one of these baffling new immigrant wars (see also, Queens 22, Brooklyn 46, Manhattan 72). This race, like some of the others, has been better documented in police reports than by the English language media, and seems largely to be a wholly owned subsidiary of the Sabini/Montserrate Senate race.

40^th AD (Brooklyn): Is there anyone reading this blog who is unaware that incumbent Diane Gordon has been indicted? Strangely, Maurice Gumbs reports that no one in the district knows anything about it. So, other than a few retired Jewish school teacher snowbirds who spend their summer months in Starrett City, I’m not likely to be influencing anyone who will actually be voting in this race. Someone told me that the Russian community in Starrett is very excited about the Assembly race, but, it turned out they meant the one in the 46^th AD. It’s just as well, for despite the fear that I’ll be blasted for this by Maurice, Rock and others (perhaps with some justification), I have an aversion to joining everyone else in playing “Johnny-on-a-pony” and treating the incumbent as a piñata. Perhaps it’s my contrarian personality, but I yield to no one in my respect for the presumption of innocence. However, I can hardly disagree that the standards the justice system maintains concerning the burden of proof for criminal liability may not necessarily be the same as each individual voter’s standards for fitness to hold public office. Personally, I prefer to judge Diane Gordon on her record and, as such, offer this helpful link: http://scratchpad.wikia.com/wiki/AssemblyOnMarriage.

Ms. Gordon is opposed by Winchester Key and Ken Evans. I will not be making any recommendations here, as the little research I’ve done on this race has discouraged me from any further inquiry into the backgrounds of the challengers to any other troubled incumbent (hence, my willful ignorance in the Ada Smith race); Evans seems to be Charles Barron’s candidate, which creates a rebutable presumption of unfitness; googling Key turned up this gem: http://nycelections2006.civiblog.org/blog/_archives/2006/7/14/2120250.html. Voters are free to consider moving to a gated community in Queens.

CORRECTION: Rock Hackshaw has helpfully pointed out that Evans is not backing Barron; Evans was merely ready, willing and able to do so, if Barron would agree to quid his quo (quo his quid?). So, one can see that the situation has an entirely different moral dimension.

Rock, may I suggest that if you are so desparate that you are seeking Gatemouth's endorsement for a race in the 40th AD, your problems may not be resolvable without a call to divine intervention. With that in mind, please remember that, even among guitarists, Gatemouth was never considered God; that was be Clapton (and those who said so were wrong; it was Hendrix).

Anyway, the unspoken fear here seems to be that, in a special election, the Party will be able to select someone for the seat without the voters being consulted. Nonsense; if there's a special, no matter who the Dems nominate, Charles Barron wins in a walk. Then, given the way the press covers Albany, I'll never have to read another word about him again, unless he gets himself arrested. Plus, he'll drive Shelly Silver stark raving mad. Those who find this possibilty alarming should perhaps consider alternative scenarios. Perhaps Bubba will read this and bundle a few large checks to Ken Evans posthaste.

43^rd AD (Brooklyn): Maurice Gumbs and Errol Lewis, who both know far more about Crown Heights than I ever will, have come to nasty blows over the merits of incumbent Karin Camara. I rarely agree with either of these gentlemen, but this seems to be one of those rare cases where only one of them must be be wrong.

46^th AD (Brooklyn): Another of those strange, baffling races involving recent immigrant groups (see also Queens 22, Queens 39 and Manhattan 72), in this case Jews from the former Soviet Union. Watching the level of repugnancy this race has degenerated to (accusations concerning the KGB, Putin, Hamas, body odor and purported threats concerning members of candidates’ families; some, but, by no means, all of which, along with a cameo appearance by yours truly, are preserved in this truly amazing thread, which mentions Atlantic Yards not once, but does speculate about the size of one of the candidate’s genitalia: http://blogs.nydailynews.com/dailypolitics/archives/2006/06/the_russians_ar.php) makes me wonder why the Soviets worked so hard to keep the Refuseniks from leaving (oh yeah, it was because they never had to watch them contest an election), although I do feel guilty for harboring such thoughts. Is this why people are already expressing nostalgia for the cool calm demeanor of Adele Cohen? I am told that many in the Soviet Jewish community also regard this race as an embarrassment, which speaks well of them. For those who care, it appears that Aleck Brook-Krasny has a somewhat greater grasp upon reality than his opponent Ari Kagan, as well as having some clue that he is obligated to represent people who were born outside of the Ukraine.

56^th AD (Brooklyn): Like a hardy fall perennial, Richard Taylor begins his 87^th run for the Assembly; the man couldn’t win when he had the Democratic nomination (Or was that a Robert Hunter? They’re pretty interchangeable.), but he does make a tidy profit on joint petitions and other election related operations in a community that can use all the small business entrepreneurship it can get. I am told it’s now an even-money bet that Taylor’s group once again beats the Annette Robinson/Al Vann slate of judicial delegates.

57^th AD (Brooklyn): This article, which was universally unpopular, savages Hakeem Jeffries for being smart, ambitious and ruthless, when most times voters must settle for just two out of three: http://www.r8ny.com/blog/gatemouth/hakeem_jeffries_and_the_limits_of_gutter_politics.html. I may have misjudged this one very badly in that Bill Batson has now traded endorsements with Charles Barron. Since Batson is smart and thoughtful enough to know exactly why this is so egregious, his willingness to prostitute his principles in service to his ambition would seem to render him presumptively unfit for office. I am told that the effort of the third candidate, Freddie Hamilton, to run for the Assembly seat while trying to hold onto her district leadership may result in her losing both races, with supporters of both other Assembly candidates joining together to back her opponent. Any insight into this, Rock?

59^th AD (Brooklyn): Alan Maisel and Abe Levy are competing to see who gets to turn the lights out when the last white politician leaves Canarsie. Maisel, who once ran Chuck Schumer’s Congressional office, has the sort of civic resume most candidates (not to mention voters) dream about; his opponent, Levy, has the strong support of about 45% of his own Congregation. The only black candidate was knocked off the ballot, which means he was spared from ever having to visit Gerritsen Beach, where it was not so long ago that, for the amusement of its clientele, Al’s Barber Shop contained an effigy of a black man getting lynched (Bar exam question: A couple from Gerritsen Beach get divorced: are they still brother and sister?).

One day, this district will have a black Assembly Member, and when it does, that Assembly Member will still come from the club named for Thomas Jefferson; will this cause Chuck Barron to lose his mind? If so, how will we be able to tell? Will anyone besides Lew Fidler even grasp the irony? Perhaps when that day comes, they will rename the club for Sally Hemmings or Tony Genovesi.

60^th AD (Staten Island/Brooklyn): Hope springs eternal for the Democrats, and I wish them well, but the likelihood is that the winner of this Republican Primary will likely be joining the Assembly Minority and never be heard from again.

68^th AD (Manhattan): Other than having a famous father, the incumbent, Adam Clayton Powell, is most noteworthy for once having been falsely accused of rape, when all he’d done was ply a 19 year old intern with alcohol in his hotel room. Given Powell’s total lack of initiative, the rape story always seemed dubious. Perhaps the handsomest man in Albany, one doubts Powell would have bothered, given that, in the home of “the Bear Mountain Compact”, even the most fiercely ugly people in the world manage to get laid consensually (yeah, I know about J. Michael Boxley, but unlike Powell, Boxley was a man of action). Those who know Powell best have great doubts about whether he would be capable of ever expending any unnecessary effort. In Albany legislative matters, Powell is said by some to make less noise than a mouse pissing upon a blotter.

69^th AD (Manhattan): Danny O’Donnell is being challenged by a member of the Spies clan, whose family business enterprises include low quality petition fraud. One must assume that O’Donnell really believes very strongly in ballot access, since challenging a Spies petition takes less time than watching a funniest moments tape by Danny’s sister.

72^nd AD (Manhattan): The incumbent is Adriano Espaillat, and he has two opponents; yet another of those new immigrant district races which baffle me so greatly (see also Queens 22, Queens 39, Brooklyn 46). This one has left literally no paper trail in the English language media, and were it not for the Board of Elections website, its existence would be entirely undocumented. Where is the Dominican Rock Hackshaw to serve as my sherpa?

74^th AD (Manhattan): Former Council aide Gur Tsabar loses a Council race and opens a blog; former Council aide Brian Kavanagh loses the same race and runs for Assembly. Which one do you think is having more fun? The incumbent, Sylvia Friedman, shocked the political world by pulling off the stunning feat of beating the insider candidate for the Democratic nomination in a special election at a County Committee meeting, which alone should probably entitle her to some sort of award. Some of the insiders are now backing Kavanagh. The other candidates are there mostly for comic relief, especially Esther Yang, who may be at least one Big Mac short of a Happy Meal. Yang once filed a federal civil rights suit concerning her child custody case alleging that a lesbian judge discriminated against her, as a straight woman, in favor of a straight man; she also asserted that the City of New York is somehow legally responsible for the actions of a State Court Judge (this may not be insanity, but it would be nice to have a state legislator who knew the difference). Frankly, this woman sounds like she should be measured for a straight jacket, which, given the state of things in Albany, is arguably the best case for her election. CORRECTION: I regret my failure to mention that the other candidate, Juan Pagan, is apparently as much of a Father's Rights lunatic, as Ms. Yang is on behalf of mother's, albeit with a far less amusing paper trail.

79^th AD (Bronx): In 2005, the incumbent, Michael Benjamin made an abortive race for Public Advocate and went on the club circuit. I watched him one night, preparing to have a good laugh at this fish out of water trying to swim in the grown-ups' pool; instead I found a thoughtful, soft spoken young man who was exactly the sort of pol most of us thought no longer existed; a free thinker not wed to conventional wisdom, who is unafraid to look outside the box. Sometimes it seems that the City has an implicit public policy designed to drive middle class people to distraction, so that every effort to maintain a comfortable existence for our families, requires, in the immortal words of S.J. Perelman (describing what it was like to write for the Marx Brothers) “intrigues which would have shames the Borgias”, such that we are eventually driven out of town. Michael Benjamin understands this and, given the opportunity, could be the sort of minority candidate whose crossover appeal would be a matter of empathy rather than artifice.

80^th AD (Bronx): The incumbent, Naomi Rivera is the daughter of Jose Rivera, the County Leader and Assemblyman from the adjoining district. Her brother, Joel Rivera, is a City Councilman; his predecessor was his father, who also previously held his own Assembly seat. Last time out, Naomi beat the son of George Friedman, who held the seat before her predecessor, and the County Leadership before her father’s predecessor. The neighboring Councilwoman, Helen Foster, is the daughter of the prior Councilman, Wendell Foster. Overlapping much of Foster’s area is the State Senate seat of Jose Serrano, who previously served on the City Council and whose father, Jose Serrano, is a member of Congress having previously served in the Assembly. Much of his Congressional district is represented in the State Senate by Ruben Diaz Sr., who previously served on the City Council. His son, Ruben Diaz, Jr. serves much of this area in the State Assembly. His predecessor in the Assembly was Pedro Espada, whose father, Pedro Espada, served in the Senate before Diaz, Sr. beat him. Young Espada and Old Espada also both served in the City Council. Then there are the Arroyos…

It has long been known by scientists that genetic diseases like Tay-Sachs occur most frequently when people marry their cousins again and again over the generations, something very common in groups like Hasidim and Cajuns, who are the primary sufferers from that disease. There is something very healthy and refreshing about opening up the gene pool to new blood. Ms. Rivera may very well deserve re-election, but someone, please think of the children!

A PLEA FROM GATE: I know many will find something to be angry about here; at least, that’s what I’m hoping. Please feel free to disagree in harsh tones, in as many posts as possible. Just make it about the substance; Gur is on alert and personal attacks will be zapped; banishment is also an option.