Normally I don’t do these Christmas parties that politicians and political organizations throw. You see, inevitably someone will ask me to dance, and then the “Mr. Bojangles” in me comes out. Then next thing you know, my “island blood” starts flowing and I am fighting with the deejay to play some calypso, reggae or soca. Sometimes the wannabee comedian in me takes over: then I am holding court in some corner, much to the chagrin of my host or hostess. I really don’t need to add anything further to my “bad-boy” political reputation at Christmas time; I’ve got enough detractors as it is already. That’s why the political Santa Claus usually drives his sleigh right past my house every year. I hardly ever get political presents (like high-profile big-money jobs; although I am over-qualified and overdue for one of them). I am often the “Rodney Dangerfield” of Brooklyn’s politics: “no respect”/lol.
So, in general, I am very selective of the political Christmas parties I attend. Sometimes I show up with a bodyguard or two: with or without invitation. Other times I arrive early, and of course my escorts promptly arrive a few minutes later: to throw me out. One time I called in a RSVP and they told me the party started at nine; when I got there at ten, the cleaner-woman said it ended at seven. Another time, the attendant doing the valet parking, took one look at my van and immediately called the junk yard. Another one threw away my keys; he said I shouldn’t be driving that rat-trap. It’s not easy being me sometimes. It’s not!
This year however, I decided to come out of my crease (so to speak). Let Gatemouth -the pseudo cricket aficionado- figure what I meant there/lol. Given that I am intent on running for the city council next year, I thought that I should show my pretty face more often now. So if you people start seeing me show up at events in the New Year, don’t be alarmed; my plastic surgeon promised that my face improves with time: it’s the healing process stupid. Don’t be scared folks.
Lori Knipel -the Dems female district leader of the 44th AD- throws the best Christmas Party in Brooklyn. And this is an understatement; no other party comes close. She does it annually with the Lefkowitz family, at a classy senior residence manor overlooking Sheepshead Bay. The fishes are caught only moments before they are fried. It’s real “fancy-schmansy”. All the female waitresses do lap dances for the men in attendance. But seriously folks: it is reputed to be the best Christmas party in all of Brooklyn’s politics. It’s by invitation only, and she invites me every year. Lori must like bad-boys who are black and sometimes irascible; or she must think I am someone I am not.
Like the fool I am, I got there about fifteen minutes before it was over. You see, my van broke down on the highway and I had forgotten to renew my AAA. Well; not really. The Triple-A people cancelled my membership as soon as I called in that night. They said I have called them more times in one week, than Eliot Spitzer called Ashley Dupre (“Kristen”) in one year. They say I have broken down more times than the Knicks and Jets defenses. I ended up swimming to the party from Coney Island. One of the security people said, “You look fishy”. Another said, “You smell fishy”. They were probably both correct. I passed on the fish dinner entrée; and the clam chowder also.
I saw Community Board member Leithland “Ricky” Tulloch at Lori’s party. Like me, he also wants to run against council member Mathieu Eugene in the 40th district next year. He ran against him in the first special election last year and garnered fewer than 200 votes in total. I tried to remind him that I left two thousand three hundred votes on the table, the last time I ran in this area. I know many will say that’s more than eight years ago; but it’s a fact nonetheless. And that’s all I will say about that.
Look, everyone has a right to run for the office of their choosing, but I sure hope he pulls out and supports me. Attorney Gerry Hopkins has decided to forego this race and support me this time out. It is also likely that at least a half dozen of the ten opponents who lined up against Eugene -first time out- will be in my corner come September. Can someone place a call to Congresswoman Yvette Clarke or her mother (Una), and put in a good word for me? There is this lil rumor that Una wants to come back and run for her old seat. I hope she does. What do you all think about that? There is another lil rumor that the Clarkes are dissatisfied with their prodigy (Eugene). Tell Cousin Rocky what you know peeps; please/lol.
In Queens, they say that Congressman Crowley throws the best Christmas party. Everyone who is anyone in Queens politics shows up. Even the nobodies show up trying to act like somebody. There is usually a lot of phony laughter there. Leroy Comrie showed up with Ronald McDonald. Most people in the county hopes that Helen Marshall won’t show up for the Boro-prez race next year; but she would: unfortunately. Helen Marshall (like Leroy) doesn’t know how to go away: gracefully. Insurgents show up with subpoenas on the Queens County lawyers for violating the Ricco statutes; you see, insurgents hardly ever make the ballot in Queens. If you don’t believe me, then ask Marlene Tapper. Last summer she found out the hard way that county has more tricks up their sleeve than a circus clown. Peter Vallone and his tribe always show up. Do you realize that there are probably more Vallones in politics, than Kennedys, Clintons, Espadas, Riveras, Cuomos and Boylands? Now another Vallone wants to run for public office; do they Xerox these people?
I know the gay folks would hate to admit this, but rumor has it that state senator Rev. Ruben Diaz throws the best Christmas party in the Bronx; but he stops people at the door and frisks them for condoms, gels and sex toys. Okay; I am just kidding; geeze; it’s Christmas already. Next year there will be more gay protesters outside Ruben’s party than attendees inside; watch what Cousin Rocky says folks. Larry Seabrook wasn’t there; he was trying to build another political dynasty with his daughter (supposedly he wants her to run to replace him in the city council). Word on the street says that she is still in diapers (politically speaking of course).
The biggest conversation piece at Ruben’s party was whether the daddy had destroyed the son’s (assembly member Ruben Diaz jnr.) chances at becoming Bronx Borough President. Tell Cousin Rocky what you think folks. One of these days Ruben will throw a Christmas party for virgins only. Fortunately for him I am sure that there are about a dozen good ones still left in New York City. BTW: I am glad that Carl Heastie is the new Bronx Dem Party-boss. I wish him well. And a merry Christmas to the Benjamins and Fosters while I am on the Bronx beat. (And no I wasn’t at Ruben’s party; I just had a spy there that’s all/lol).
A few days ago I got an e-mail invite to a Kwanzaa party that state senator Bill Perkins (Harlem) is throwing. I can’t make it, but I am thinking of sending assembly member Keith Wright to represent me; what do you all think? While I am on the uptown beat, let me send out holiday greetings to Ms. C. Virginia Fields, Trudy Mason, Scott Stringer, Mr. and Mrs. Luther Smith, Mr. and Mrs. Kevin Wardally, and my eccentric buddy George Weaver -who hasn’t been around lately.
BTW; can someone pull assembly member Adam Clayton Powell jnr. out of that Public Sadvocate race. Obviously and undoubtedly: he is “dead man walking”. And tell Manhattan DA Morgantheau that if he dies in office he will be still dead nonetheless. Enough already: this guy is older than sexual intercourse. Tell him to read up on Strom Thurmond please.
Over in Staten Island, let me send a special greeting to Debbie Rose. You go “girlfren”. And good luck in your run next year hun. Let me also send greetings to Judge Desmond Green, his lovely wife and family from the Rock. Say hello to your dad for me Des. I need you all to show up for my Joan Gill/ Maurice Gumbs luncheon tribute next year.
Back to Brooklyn: I saw Bill diBlasio at Lori Knipel’s party. He had a worried look on his face. Could it be that the Public Advocate race he is contemplating is real real tough for him to win? I think he has a shot; albeit a long one. He wants to do lunch, or dinner, or drinks -with me. Doesn’t he know that I will give it to him straight with no chaser?
I like Bill, but that’s an awesome field being assembled for that race (Powell excluded of course). There is the perennial runner Norman Siegel -who is probably overdue for victory here; then Mark Green -who (despite his many talents and his real chances of winning here) sadly wants to comeback like George Foreman and Evander Holyfield; then John Liu -a really hardworking politician who just hired Bill Lynch and his hard hitting associates; and Eric Gioia -another upcoming political star. Did I just hear someone say that there will be a late entrant by some female city council woman from Manhattan/lol? Oops; that was me: sorry. BTW; does she have the same first name as Jennifer Lopez? Oh Bill…. Bill…. Bill…… Bill: this is a tough one bro!
I am not saying Bill diBlasio cannot win, but he has to get into the runoff first. This is a race that calls for creativity and savvy. It also calls for new ideas in voter-persuasion. It’s a political-consultant’s dream race. Lord, I wish I had a candidate in here. But then I do have a race to run, in which I am a big underdog/lol. Talk about challenges!
While I am waxing prophetically on upcoming races, let me say that David Yassky has a real chance of becoming our next comptroller. His stock went up when Bill Thompson decided to stay in the mayoral race despite the current term-limits extension. It went up even further when Adolpho Carrion decided to go to Washington with the Obama administration. Plus, David has raised a bit of “dinero” folks. Seems like he is spending like a sailor though; what’s with that David? And by the way council man Yassky; you have a staff-member who lies like a toupee: that’s all I will say about that.
BTW: what happened to Junior Boyland’s announced run for comptroller? Did it crash-land? Did someone pop that trial-balloon before it lifted from the ground? What was he thinking folks?
Prominent Trinidad-born attorney Brian Figeroux also had a Christmas party on the night of Thursday 18th December, 2008. Brian has been practicing law at 26 Court Street for about two decades now. He also has an office on Nostrand Avenue in Crown Heights. He has become an immigration-expert over the years.
Political activists like Joyce Stewart (Trinidad and Tobago Overseas Coalition), Gloria Waldron (Acorn), Pam Miller (Marcus Garvey Political Org.), Gerry Hopkins and Orlando Aponte (Haitian-American media) were among those who showed up. The mixed crowd included folks from many other Caribbean-American countries. It reflected Brooklyn’s racial, ethnic and nationalistic diversity at its best. It was a true rainbow collection of blacks, whites, mixed, East-Indians, West-Indians, Asians, Hispanics and others. Beautiful!
I went to the party that congressman Ed Towns held near Nostrand Avenue (on the edge of Bed-Stuy) and saw many familiar faces. Look, there is no truth to the rumor that Ed is being nice to me because I delivered him in his race against Kevin Powell earlier this year. He paid me for that; okay. Plus Ed and I have always been (as they say on the streets) “tight”. For Christ’s sake; we even have the same barber now. Ed’s wife has one of the most radiant smiles of political wives. If Ed had half her charisma and personality, he would be where Barack Obama is today/lol. Okay; maybe where David Paterson is then. Do you know that there was a time when some white folks with deep-pockets wanted to run Ed Towns for mayor of New York City: no kidding?
I figure that the ten thousand plus daily readers to my columns all over the blogs, must have dropped more than a few votes Ed’s way: because I told them to do that. However, if I were to say so, then everyone will think that I have an elevated view of my political influence: that’s why I am saying nothing. All I know is that in 2006, I wasn’t on the campaign and his vote total was much less than this year’s. Also, he increased his percentage/take of the turnout by about 20 points; I rest my case/lol.
I saw Earl Williams -the district leader from the 40th AD- looking fit, trim and sprightly as ever; maybe Earl has another run in him. Kenneth (Ken) Evans didn’t make the party but he did call to wish me Season’s Greetings. He also informed me that he is intent on running for the 40th Ad one more time. He intends to challenge Inez Barron in 2010. This time I hope that Ed Towns, Earl Williams, Darryl Towns, Dacosta Headley, John Whitehead, Tony Foreman, Carol Faison and the whole East New York political establishment crew, supports him: finally. One thing you must say about the determined Ken Evans: he is tenacious. I always wish him well, he deserves better in politics.
Assembly member Darryl Towns snuck out early from Ed’s party; I wonder if his daddy didn’t ground him for that. Assembly member Hakeem Jeffries was there; so too was Attorney Paul Wooten -one of the best black election lawyers in the state. Is Paul Wooten running for Brooklyn District Attorney? Can someone tell Cousin Rocky please?
Paul, who is usually quite calm and reserved, was very chipper and dandy that night. He was laughing, smiling, friendly, grinning and jovial. Did he hit the lotto or something? Isn’t he a judge now?
I do like Paul -though I have heard that in the past, he has had doubts as to this- but I found him out of character that night. Charles Barron showed up, but Ray Kelly and his cops didn’t allow him to exit his wife’s car. BTW: a shout out to Inez Barron on her recent victory in the 40th AD. I wonder if she remembers the many times I was on the phone, trying to convince her to run for that seat; long before Diane Gordon’s fall from grace. One thing I know for sure about Barron and his peeps is that they tend to not remember things well. I call it convenient amnesia. I see that it is a condition that sometimes afflicts my buddies Paul Washington and Stanley Kinard also. It must be the contamination or the overflow.
Look, let me make something very clear. Despite my off and on hits at the Barrons, Sharpton, Washington, and others of that ilk, they do command my full respect for their years of political activism and community involvement. They have made valuable contributions to the body politic of black Brooklyn and the overall city. The main differences I have with all of them usually occur because of their flawed tactics, tunnel-vision, lack of honest introspection, and occasional lapses in integrity and political-truthfulness.
BTW; Tulani Kinard (Stan’s wife) is running for the city council against incumbent Darlene mealy. She is a lovely lady. She will bring some class to the council if she were to pull off an upset. And she can sing too. Word is that Tracey Boyland -the former incumbent of that seat- is also in the race; so too the tenacious political activist Tony Herbert. All I can say is this: “ABCD”. Which when translated means: “Anybody But Councilwoman Darlene (Mealy)”. It’s the old “alphabet” call. Mealy lost the little bit of credibility she had left in the tank, with her term limits extension vote.
While I am on the 10th Congressional district, let me say that Kevin Powell was recently sighted punching a female mannequin in Macys; he almost got arrested for that. Kevin says he wants to run for Congress again, but he should really be running for cover folks. BTW: where is Roger “The Dodger” Green? Last time I saw him, it was only his face on a milk cartoon.
At the party I saw Phyliss Taliaferro, who seems to have stopped her bi-annual run for the 11th congressional district, and is now hosting a television program on BCAT. I also saw Elinora Bernard, Desmond Green, and some of the regular and prolific Brooklyn political players. I also saw some of Ed’s staffers, including Jennifer James and other members of his beautiful female crew. No one seemed enthused about sharing anything groundbreaking or newsworthy for this column.
At Wellington Sharpe’s Christmas party, Marty Markowitz showed up. Now remember, Sharpe tried to run against Marty when he was a senator (2000), only to be knocked off the ballot (signatures). Last year, Sharpe held a block party and Kevin Parker showed up. Parker’s introductory line was: “do you remember me”? (THIS IS TRUE, FOLKS). Seems like Sharpe’s parties tend to draw those he ran against, or those he tried to run against. Let’s see if next year he attracts Carl Andrews, Yvette Clarke, Nick Perry and Mathieu Eugene. BTW: Sharpe has already endorsed me privately in my run against Eugene. He said that he will do it publicly when the time is right. There are dozens of other political players telling me the same thing. We shall see.
Next year I don’t expect to write too many columns here, but I will do the occasional one while campaigning. Stay tuned-in folks; and a Happy New Year to all.