Gatemouth and Domestic Partner had met Major Publishing Couple four years ago when Dybbuk first started pre-school. While Gate and DP maintained a fierce competition to see which of them could more effectively squander their considerable talents, the two halves of MPC each ran a major national magazine that had still managed to prosper in the age of the internet.
MPC Jr. suffered from what the pre-school Director had mis-diagnosed as shyness; her prescription was friendship with Dybbuk, who served as the school’s Mayor and Social Director. In making the match, she sternly warned DP not to be put off by the MPC’s celebrity status, which was most analogous to cautioning a nymphomaniacal size queen not to be intimidated by the prospect of pulling a train with Roddy McDowell, Milton Berle and Forrest Tucker.
DP and Mrs. MPC became regular breakfast buddies, and DP successfully convinced her to abandon her burgeoning editorial career in favor of becoming a part-time yoga instructor, with an occasional bit of freelancing on the side.
The other pairings seemed somewhat less successful.
MPC Sr. always conveyed the impression of great interest in Gatey’s blog and the fact that it had sometimes yielded Gate up to $125 a month; moreover, he seemed pleasantly bemused when Gatey was chosen to travel to Denver as New York’s DNC designated blogger; but, despite what seemed to be some genuinely interested inquiries about local politics, there was never forthcoming any offer to help Gatey go national. Gatey concluded that shyness must be hereditary.
Meanwhile, poor Dybbuk suffered through years of play-dates with MPC Jr., who seemed in Dybbuk’s mind’s eye to be less shy than anti-social and misanthropic. Jr. was at his most expansive when talking about an imaginary friend he called "Bloodyface." By contrast, Dybbuk preferred to spend his time channeling Zero Mostel to garner the appreciative applause of both adults and classmates.
Then somewhere in the second semester of Kindergarten, Dybbuk suddenly became a different person. His favorite words became "lame," "BORING" and "HELLO," the last conveyed as an incredulous expression of disbelief over parental cluelessness.
Thomas trains, including the dozens of rare ones acquired over Ebay, became passe and the Thomas TV show an object of ridicule and disdain. The new favorite cartoon was "Total Drama Action," a compendium of gross out jokes about teenage horniness and flatulence.
Trying to find a silver lining, Domestic Partner had visions of freeing up the quarter portion of the family room dedicated to the Iron Horses of the Island of Sodor, and innocently asked Dybbuk if she could get rid of the trains he seemed to hate so much.
"HELLO" screamed Dybbuk, "they’re a collection!"
Impressing adults became less a priority than ignoring them. The authority figure most in Dybbuk’s disdain was the Caribbean woman who served as afternoon bus driver for the six members, all kindergartners, of the local entourage from the gifted program Dybbuk attended for his schooling.
On Wednesdays, the gifted young yuppie-puppies shared space on the bus ride home with a boisterous mixed-age group from the local NYCHA development. The driver, understanding from whom and where her tips came from, made a strenuous effort to enforce her own version of apartheid, offending both Dybbuk’s egalitarian sensibilities and his senses of fun and adventure.
Dybbuk complained loudly; "I hate that black-faced African-American bus driver." Unlike Carolyn Maloney, even when being politically incorrect, Dybbuk respected certain boundaries.
Still, I was shocked, and said so.
"Don’t mention her skin color. You don’t hate her because of the color of her skin; you hate her because you don’t like what she does."
"She makes me mad."
"Don’t some white people make you mad?"
"You do."
"Well, do you hate all white people?"
"HELLO; I’m white."
"So, just because you’re mad at the bus driver doesn’t mean you should hate all black people. If I remember correctly, the guy you think is the coolest person in the world is a black person."
"OH NO," Dybbuk sighed with exasperation, "PUH-LEEZE don’t talk to me about President Obama. BORING!”
Suddenly and without warning, MPC Jr. became Dybbuk’s new avatar, and one day, in earshot of DP, Dybbuk thanked MPC Jr. for teaching him how to become a man.
Shocked by this news, I asked Dybbuk if he had learned anything about being a man from me.
"Not really; you only want to teach me how to be a mensch. BORING"
Being a man seemed mostly to be about bad attitude and fighting, together with a dose of curse words Dybbuk could easily have learned at home, if he were only paying attention; but paying attention to adults now was deemed as passe as Thomas the Tank Engine.
The silver lining was more conversations with MPC, Sr., whose interest in Gatey was on an upswing, as one of his writers was doing an article and possible book on Eliot Spitzer, who had unexpectedly renewed himself an object of interest, by virtue of the recent upturns in Wall Street calamity and Gubernatorial tumescence.
The conversation drifted to Gatey’s blog. MPC Sr’s editorial portfolio included mastery over his publication’s website, and he expressed fascination and bemusement with the preference of his writers to have their thoughts memorialized on the printed page because of its permanence.
Here Gate and MPC Sr. were united by common experience, for they both had come to realize that the truth was exactly the opposite.
The printed word was the equivalent of interment. "Memorialization" was exactly the right/write term. Once "memorialized" in print, one could always make a time consuming effort to later locate the body and dig it up, but only if one had the time and the stomach to do so.
By contrast, despite an occasional disappearance (such as the Haloscanned comments from the Golden Age of Ben Smith‘s Politicker), it was the web where the living word resided, all reachable in seconds by speed dial.
The conversation reminded me of an incident last year:
Who's Running
posted by Jerry Skurnik on Room 8
Sat, 07/12/2008 – 4:48pm
On Thursday, July 10, Party designating petitions were filed at the New York City Board of Elections.
This is the list of possible upcoming contested Primaries, based on the petitions filed. This list will be changed as candidates withdraw and/or removed from the ballot. There also may have been some errors made in compiling the list. I am including some commentary about some of the races. As usual, most contests are on the Democratic side….
…Brooklyn
Democrats…
…Assembly
…In the 50th AD, Assemblyman Joe Lentol is challenged by Andrei Soleil…
…State Committee
…50th AD Incumbents Steve Cohn & Linda Minucci are opposed by Assembly candidate Andrei Soleil & Andrea Jones….
GATEMOUTH: WTF is Andrei Soliel?
ROCK HACKSHAW: ANDRE SOLEIL ran for office before. He ran against Velmanette Montgomery on every line but Democratic (1996)for the State Senate (19).
GATEMOUTH: Thanks. So I assume it's some jerk from Ingersol or Whitman who thinks the entire district is in Fort Greene and Bed-Stuy, when in actuality the district's population is 58% white and 12% black. If he were at all serious, he would have at least found an Hispanic to run for female leader.
So, either a loon, or possibly put up by Tony Herbert (hence the Republican connection) or Kevin Powell to juice primary turnout in a particular area (or maybe by Ed Towns to wake up the Hasidim by giving Lentol and Cohn races).
But probably nothing that sophisticated, probably just a nut.
JERRY SKURNIK: Still another non-barker. I don't think the candidate running against Lentol has anything to do with Anthony Herbert. Since he did not file petitions to run for anything from any Party.
CHRIS OWENS: Andre Soleil has been around for years …He was also involved with Community School Board elections in District 13. Remember those?
GATEMOUTH: Of course I remember them Chris, I even urged people to write you in.
ANDRE SOLEIL: No, I am neither "put up by Tony Herbert, Kevin Powell or Ed Towns. No, I am not a "jerk" from Walt Whitman or Ingersol who thinks the district is Black. I am very aware that the district is not a "Black" district. I am also aware that I am not limited by my racial characteristics, and that the new demographic of the 50th AD is also NOT limited by racial profiles. As to "jerk," I have been called worse things by better people.
As far as seriousness goes, I unsuccessfully looked for a Hispanic female; since race' effect on politics remains reality. We however, ran a Jewish male for State Committee, I am just a substitution for the nomination to that office. Yitchok Cohen, a friend of mine, declined nomination because he is honest, discovering that he was not in the district (missed it by two blocks in Williamsburg). Steve Cohen suffers the same problem, he has been out of the district for 10 years.
Your information is old. Andrea Jones, my friend and a Black woman, has also declined the State Committeewoman nomination and has been replaced by Rebecca Roy.
Let's talk demographics. I am a Black middle classed man with a J.D., M.B.A., who is a candidate for my Rel.D., an ordained minister, a practicing attorney, realtor, former college professor, home owner, off-Broadway producer, professional visual and performing artist, published author, with several years of governmental experience, and years of involvement with civil rights, environmental protection, and good-government charities, and and owner of several small businesses. My running mate is a married, pregnant, White, 10-year veteran public school art teacher, home owner, with a M.S. Education from Columbia University, BFA in visual arts, and environmental/community activist.
Have you seen the recent demographics of the industries-employment, academic achievement, earnings, and concerns of the active young populace of the 50th AD? May I suggest that these demographics fit Mrs. Roy and myself like a glove? May I also suggest that these new demographic types could care less about my race (see BARAK OBAMA)?
May I also suggest that these new residents, that have so radically altered the district's demographic, are also less than enchanted with Seneca Club politics, a out-of-the-district male leader, a "rubber stamp" unknown female district leader, and the hereditary Assemblyman whose family have presided over the two largest inland oil spills ever? This is not the working-class White district that originally elected the Lentol family. Remember the Barak-Hillary 'dream team" that we Democrats salivated about . . . well I got it.
Let's find out if the new demographic also means new VOTES on September 9, 2008.
If challenging the stagnant corrupt establishment makes me a "jerk," I'm a jerk.
GATEMOUTH: Sorry, Andre, now I'll do better.
I tried googling you, but Jerry misspelled your first name and all I got was this article and two piece of googly-goop, so I took wild guesses and said so. I regret my error.
Now that I've got the correct spelling, I've struck gold. Take this first entry from Erik Engquist in 2004: "Attorney Andre Soleil, who was trying to run as a Democrat against State Senator Velmanette Montgomery, vanished from the Board of Elections' list of candidates on August 13. It seems we'll be deprived of what would have been a colorful race. Not only was Soleil harshly critical of Montgomery, but one of his campaign themes was to allow parents to whup their children.
Parents should only lose custody of their children if they inflict "lacerations, broken bones, major contusions, things of that nature," Soleil told us. "Not swelling." He explained, "A few welts on the behind is not an indication of abuse."
The primary theme of his brief campaign against Montgomery was that she is ineffective. "We didn't create the office of Senate to elect our favorite grandma, have her smile at us, and have us call her senator," said Soleil, who in the last decade has been a Democrat, Republican, unaffiliated voter, Libertarian, and finally a Democrat again."
Another Engquist clip from 2004 indicates that you were part of a pro-Ratner front-group, which I'm sure will have great appeal to the "concerns of the active young populace of the 50th AD" who you "fit like a glove". But I guess you must target them, since the district's numerous poor Hasidim, Latinos and African-Americans, many of whom live in NYCHA Housing Projects, and are often dependent upon entitlements like Medicaid and Food Stamps, are unlikely to be interested in supporting a former Chair of the Kings County Libertarian Party. I'm also not sure your fellow Afircan Americans will share your enthusiasm for Rudy Giuliani documented in the Daily News..
Your take on the demographics of the district has some salient points, nonetheless, they are points with a limit–the District went 54%-46% for Hillary Clinton, indicating that oldtimers still retain their majority. Further, Lentol not only will clean your clock among the old-style Clinton type voters, but he'll eat your lunch among the Yuppies.
No one is more aware of the district's changing demographics than Joe Lentol, who has let the shift liberate his inner liberal. In the last few years, Lentol has publicly and emotionally, in terms that show unmistakable contrition, changed his position on the death penalty and gay rights. His speech in favor of same-sex marriage could almost bring tears to one's eyes. If he were merely pandering, he could have cast the vote without the speech–one must assume it came from the heart, and given the district's still strong Hasidic and traditional Catholic presence, it took a bit of courage.
Finally, it should be noted that Lentol works hard. The top issues amongst all voters, oldtimers and new, in the Northside and Greenpoint are environmental–and Lentol's record on those issues ensures that he has a strong following amongst the district's newcomers. And, he'll even give you a run for the money amongst black voters.
So, Andre, the answer is that perhaps one day a newcomer will shake up politics in AD 50, though the presidential primary results indicate that the date has not yet arrived. When that date arrives, oldtimers who've been asleep might get surprised, but Joe Lentol has not been asleep. And if someone is to get surprised, it will be by someone in tune with the district's priorities, and I submit, based upon your record, that person is not you.
YODA: More about Mr. Soleil than anyone should have to know. Though, I'd like to ask Mr. Soleil if he really blames Lentol's family for the two largest inland oil spills ever?
ERIK ENGQUIST: Sometimes we take Google for granted, but it's worth stating what may be obvious: it has completely changed the political discourse. Every candidate is an open book. Gatemouth (once he had the right spelling) found in a matter of seconds my postings on Andre Soleil, who four years ago gave me an interview that I'll never forget, and one that may haunt him forever. Because of Google, it will always be discoverable. But I will say that if Joe Lentol can change his position on gay marriage, Andre Soleil can change his position on corporal punishment.
GATEMOUTH: Perhaps you are correct, Erik, ..but before I'm convinced, I'd like to have ACS inspect for welts.
Sadly, Andre’s petitions turned out to be of the same quality as his intellect, and I was deprived of opportunity to see whose theory of the primary race was correct. Perhaps if he’d only hooked up with his soulmate, Kevin Powell, things would have been different. Perhaps he will now take the Daily News’ advice and become an outraged citizen challenging a State Senate incumbent. Think of the possibilities of Andre joining a caucus of those who share his casual attitude about violence; maybe Hiram Monserrate will jettison his amigos and join Andre and Kevin Parker in the 2011 version of "The Three Stooges."
And yet, every once in a while, I am tempted to invite Andre to come spend the evening with Dybbuk.
Anyway, the day after my conversation with MPC, Sr., I came upon with further proof that he had been correct.
It was an article in Slate by Jack Shafer, debunking the assertion by George McGovern’s Campaign Manager, Frank Mankiewicz, that Walter Cronkite would have accepted the 1972 Democratic Vice Presidential nomination, if, as Mankiewicz had suggested, McGovern had only made the offer.
In the article, Shafer concludes, probably correctly, that Mank had misinterpreted a later conversation with Cronkite.
Shafer ends his article thusly:
"If Cronkite lied, I forgive him. Everybody loves to exchange flattering, harmless falsehoods, even anchormen. However fanciful the Cronkite-for-vice-president tale may be, it wasn't only Mankiewicz who had Walter on the brain at the zany 1972 convention in Miami. Historian Michael R. Beschloss writes that rebellious delegates cast votes for Walter Cronkite—and Mao Zedong and Mickey Mouse—for vice president."
I’d heard the Mao story close to 100 times, but something about it always struck me as wrong. Last year, when writing an article arguing that Hillary's name should be placed in nomination because it would help rally her supporters to the cause, I went searching on the web for the text of runner-up Mo Udall’s speech at the 1976 Convention and found the entire Convention transcript. A hunch told me that 1972's would also be available.
As Shafer later noted in an addendum:
Did anybody really vote for Mao at the Democratic National Convention in 1972? Room 8's …"Gatemouth"… dropped me a note to say it ain't so. The link he provided to the roll call of votes, The Official Proceedings of the Democratic National Convention, 1972, explains the confusion.
A wide range of political and public figures did receive votes for vice president at the convention—Dr. Benjamin Spock, Jerry Rubin, Martha Mitchell, Philip Berrigan, Daniel Berrigan, Archie Bunker, Eleanor McGovern, Cesar Chavez, and even Richard J. Daley.
The Mao myth got started when the Colorado delegation cast seven of its votes for Roberto Mondragon, the lieutenant governor of New Mexico…”
The relevant part of the transcript reads:
VOICE: Madame Chairperson, the Colorado delegation, out of concern for its mountain greenery and a proper sense of priority, registers no opposition to holding the 1978 Winter Olympics in Colorado (Applause)
Our vote is Eagleton 14, Gravel 3, Farenhold 12, MONDRAGON seven.
Mondgragon, who had seconded the Vice Presidential nomination of McGovern’s choice, Senator Thomas Eagleton of Missouri, actually had a little boomlet going; having already received three votes from California.
Oldtime party warhorse Dorothy Bush, who was conducting the role call, then read back what she’d heard:
MRS. BUSH: Colorado 14 for Senator Eagleton, three for Senator Gravel, 12 for Sissy Farenhold, and seven for MAO TSE-TUNG.
While in conversation with Shafer, using the document’s search mechanism, I made the further discovery that Bechloss was also wrong about the votes cast for Cronkite. Walter had received zero votes; similarly, Shafer found that Mickey Mouse had also been blitzed.
It was not Cronkite, but CBS correspondent Roger Mudd who had received two votes, prompting nominee Thomas Eagleton to quip, "Did I not give Roger Mudd a hack of a beating?."
The Mao story immediately took on a life of its own. I distinctly remembering Bill Buckley snidely commenting on ABC that the Republicans would have to cast a few votes for Chang Kai-Shek for the sake of equal time.
Except for the number of votes, TIME MAGAZINE got it right:
"Prankish. The delegates maintained an appealing independence, even from their nominee. They insisted on nominating eight candidates for Vice President, including not only Eagleton but also Alaska's Senator Mike Gravel, former Massachusetts Governor Endicott Peabody and Texas State Representative Frances ("Sissy") Farenthold. By the time the roll call finally began, the delegates were in a prankish mood, casting ballots for TV's Archie Bunker, Martha Mitchell and CBS-TV's Roger Mudd. It was, said Mankiewicz, "like the last day of school." Because the clerk misheard a name, one vote was even recorded temporarily for Mao Tse-tung. Finally, in a grace note that brought the convention to its feet cheering, the Alabama delegation cast all of its 37 votes for Eagleton, explaining that had Wallace been the nominee, he would have wanted the right to select his own running mate and McGovern deserved no less. When Eagleton was at last confirmed, it was 1:40 a.m."
But aside from TIME, and the transcript stenographer, over the years, almost no one else has; the myth of the Mao votes lives on.
Here’s an excerpt from a bestseller:
"Alas, it was all downhill from there. McGovern entered the convention well behind but still within striking distance of President Nixon in the opinion polls, and we expected to pick up five or six points during the week, thanks to several days of intense media coverage. Getting that kind of bounce, however, requires the kind of disciplined control of events our forces had demonstrated with the delegate challenges. For some reason, it evaporated after that…Then, on Thursday afternoon, after he picked Senator Tom Eagleton of Missouri to be his running mate, McGovern allowed other names to be put in nomination against him during the voting that night. Six more people got in the race, complete with nominating speeches, and a long roll-call vote. Though Eagleton’s victory was a foregone conclusion, the other six got some votes. So did Roger Mudd of CBS News, the television character Archie Bunker, and Mao Tse-tung. It was a disaster. The useless exercise had taken all the prime-time television hours, when nearly eighteen million households were watching the convention. The intended media events—Senator Edward Kennedy’s speech nominating McGovern and the nominee’s own acceptance speech—were pushed back into the wee hours of the morning. Senator Kennedy was a champ and gave a rousing speech. McGovern’s was good, too. He called on America to "come home . . . from deception in high places . . . from the waste of idle hands . . . from prejudice. . . . Come home to the affirmation that we have a dream . . . to the conviction that we can move our country forward . . . to the belief that we can seek a newer world." The problem was that McGovern began to talk at 2:48 a.m., or "prime time in Samoa," as the humorist Mark Shields quipped. He had lost 80 percent of his television audience."
That little piece of history came from Bill Clinton’s "My Lfe."
I think the Mao story stuck because it fit the narrative everyone wanted:
1) The McGovern Democrats were undisciplined and chaotic. This is only true to a point; for a description of the credentials challenges Clinton alludes to, see Hunter Thompson's interview with McGovern aide Bill Dougherty in "Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail." As the interview demonstrates, McGovern’s campaign aides were as cold-hearted and pragmatic as they come; but, as the vote on the Veep nomination demonstrated, McGovern’s supporters were a different matter. But, in the end, not even the pragmatism of the pros could have saved McGovern from the revelation that Eagleton had received electroshock treatments. Mondragon, if not Mao, would probably have been a preferable choice.
2) McGovern was the candidate of the left-wing maniacs. Perhaps; but he was also the candidate of Queens Democratic boss Matty Troy, who famously raised the flag at City Hall after Mayor Lindsay had ordered it at half-mast during an anti-war demonstration. Nonetheless, even if one concedes that the point is arguably correct, one could probably make it by citing the votes cast for Jerry Rubin, Dr. Spock and the Berrigan brothers, and still have the high ground of not distorting history.
Incidentally, this was the high point of Mondragon’s career; he was last heard from as a Green Party candidate for Governor, meaning the distance between he and Mao may not have been as great as it seemed at the time.
But, as John and Yoko once noted, "There may not be much diff'rence between Chairman Mao and Richard Nixon, if we strip them naked."
To get to the point of this shaggy dog tale, the persistently annoying phenomena of "The Birthers" and other similar outrages highlight the fact that there have been many complaints, some quite justified, about the power of the web to spread rumors and outright falsehoods.
I’ve even made a few of them myself.
But far too little is said about the ability of the web to not only spread the truth, but to actually conclusively disprove longstanding falsehoods and correct them.
Some see the web as half empty, but I see it as half full.