JIMMY BUFFETT: Some people claim that there's a woman to blame
But I know it's nobody’s fault
Has the Governor really morphed into Jimmy Buffett?
In Buffett’s song, Jimmy starts, as noted above, by refusing to lay blame for his pitiable condition. By verse two, as if in an evolving stages of grief scenario, Buffett acknowledges “it could be my fault”; while by the song’s end he admits “it's my own damn fault.”
This is surely not the David Paterson scenario, I suspect in the Governor’s second verse ends verse “but I know, it's Sulzberger's fault,” while by verse three he’s gone on to blame Whitey in general for some sort of double standard.
Because, after all a blind eye was always turned to the failings of Eliot Spitzer (whose own trooper "scandal" involved an effort to try to get possibly criminal conduct investigated, rather than an attempt to supress such an investigation) .
Despite Buffett’s taste for short work hours and hard drinking, perhaps a different soundtrack is in order.
Taking the cue from street names in Paterson’s old Senate District, I suggest the epitome of Uptown sophistication, Duke Ellington.
Can there be any doubt that the song being sung by the Governor’s lawyers is "Do nothing till you hear from me"?
The sources for the Times story may very well be unimpeachable, but the Governor surely is not, and sadly, impeachment is perhaps the least of his undesirable scenarios.
As I once noted, not so long ago, a Jersey contractor was told that if the Governor was in on some sleazy deal, he would use the word “Machiavelli” in conversation. The Governor, one James McGreevey, was later caught on a wire asking the gentleman if it was true he was reading “The Prince”.
In the Jersey case, someone needed some assurance that something was being done with the big guy’s cooperation, and the Governor made the "If you need me, I'm here for you" assurance required.
Not necessarily coincidentally, McGreevey soon found another reason to leave office.
I make no suggestions of what actually occurred here, but only suggest that we have yet to wake up from this particular nightmare.
Of course, things could always be worse. I haven’t heard anyone talk about Aqueduct in days. Or promiscuity. While it always seemed possible the Governor would be brought down by a woman, or several (though I initially dismissed such scenarios, thinking it would more likely be misuse of state and campaign funds, with females companionship playing, at most, a tangential role), I never thought it would be one he never slept with.
Of course, I may be speaking prematurely on that one. Has anyone had a peek yet at the Times’ part five?
Still, I keep coming back to Jimmy Buffett:
“I don't know the reason
I stayed here all season
Nothin to show but this brand new tattoo
But it's a real beauty
A Mexican cutie
How it got here I haven't a clue”
Likewise, Paterson seems to be without a clue how he got where he was (or how he subsequently managed to blow out his flip-flop, step on a pop-top, and cut his heel and have to cruise on back home).
But it has always been thus.
Thrown out of the Queens DA’s office after continued failure to pass the bar exam, Paterson was handed the nomination for the Senate seat once held by his father at a County Committee meeting controlled by Harlem’s Gang of Four (one of whose members was his dad).
One wonders why he had so little empathy for Caroline.
As a Senator, Paterson did not particularly stick out from the ranks. During the 2006 race, Republicans tried to put some focus on controversial bill Paterson had introduced, including one which decriminalized resisting arrest, This was surely unfair; they should only have focused on those bills Paterson actually passed.
Of course, then they would have had nothing to talk about
In 2002, the three Senators (Schniederman, Liz Krueger and Duane) flailing about trying to engineer a coup against Marty Connor realized that the absence of a statewide black Democrat (the result of Carl McCall giving up the Comptroller’s job and being defeated for Governor) opened the door for a route to victory.
Paterson was always a reluctant player in the scenario, sending out a letter of support for Connor during the ensuing events. In the end, Duane regretted his victory almost immediately; I suspect Krueger eventually did the same, while Schniederman must by now at least understand that he picked the wrong dark horse for both his own benefit and the State’s.
Then, Eliot Spitzer pulled a rabbit out of his hat, picking Paterson for LG when the Harlem Gang of Four, once again including Paterson’s dad, preferred Leecia Eve. In response, Charlie Rangel derisively and sarcastically referred to Spitzer as “the world’s smartest man.” While this seems to be the wrong week to sing hosannas to the good judgment of Charlie Rangel, it seems clear that he knew Paterson a lot better than did Spitzer, and that perhaps Spitzer should have listened.
Perhaps Dick Ravitch can now right this wrong and make Leecia his new LG.
This was all so avoidable. Unfortunately, back when the White House was manuvering to get the Governor out, Paterson made clear he would not let his name be put forth for any Federal position requiring either Senate confirmation or an FBI vetting.
Perhaps he could have been offered his own newstand in a Federal Court House; now it is too late even for that.
Even if he could manage to pass the bar, the Queens DA is unlikely to rehire him, given the character and fitness issues.
Before I go one, I should disclose that, back in 2002, when Paterson pulled his coup (or rather, let the coup be pulled in his behalf) and became Senate Minority Leader, his people put together a list of 13 names to be sacked on day one: I was among them. At the time, Domestic Partner was seven months pregnant.
So naturally, I shed few tears when I learned that the Governor had blinked (perhaps a poor choice of words).
It brings to mind Psalms (a book I quote from for the second time this week) 3:7:
“Arise, O LORD! Rescue me, my God! Slap all my enemies in the face! Shatter the teeth of the wicked!”
Ironically, this verse was written by a King named David who also had trouble keeping his slingshot in his tunic.
But this David, while small in political stature, is no triumphant warrior. His administration is over in all but name. It has become a Flying Circus which cannot get up off the ground; the Governor, barely qualified to serve as the Minister of Silly Walks, has become a Monty Python in Albany's den of poisonous snakes, The only reason that David Paterson is still sitting on his perch is that he has constitutionally been NAILED there.
The Governor look like he is pining for better days.
But 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrothead is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If the laws of the State of New York hadn't nailed 'im to his perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are of interest only to historians! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off this mortal coil, rung down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-GOVERNOR!!
Memo to Dick Ravitch: Call the Governor, NOW!. Tell him "If you need me, I'm here for you." If he still does not get it, promise him the damned pardon outright.
It is surely justified as an act of mercy…
…towards the State.
But, please, get him out of here!