As the years have gone by I have come to a simple conclusion: people blog for different reasons; some of which aren’t healthy. This conclusion in itself isn’t profound, but it has been arrived at in some very hard ways, with some inner pain and through a lot of disappointing revelations.
Recently, many people have called me to reiterate something(s) said to me years ago: “Ignore the fools who perpetually attack you on the blogs”. And in my last column I really felt I had finally gotten some kinda closure of sorts; but I was wrong: so let me try one more time.
When I was invited to be one of the original members of Room Eight’s writer’s colony, I was apprehensive. This was primarily because I saw the way the “silly people” (I don’t want to go profane here /as yet) had behaved, on the blog then called “Politicker”.
After some hard-thinking I felt it was worth the risk of perpetual personal attacks, to share some of my political insights, my professional /social experiences and many personal anecdotes of events and personalities I have experienced first hand in the local political theater. Plus, I figured that every now and again I might just break some newsworthy event or two.
My real vision for Room Eight however had to do with helping to create and maintain a website, where people can come to be edified as to local political events, personalities, happenings, initiatives and the like. Hopefully writers could share experiences and ideas all aimed at educating a willing public eager for political info that the mainstream media doesn’t provide. I even hoped we could finally recruit writers from all five boroughs, and eventually all sixty-two counties of this state.
I tried to engage the readers from the outset. I also recognized that part of my role here was to entertain; not only inform or intellectually stimulate: thus my many variations of a “grapevines” type of column. Many of them have gotten me in trouble/lol.
I invited many politically active individuals to join me in writing here. Only a few did. I advertised this site to no end. In all my professional lives, and also in my personal social and business dealings, I tried to get people to be aware that there are many of us here, committed to building a viable site where political information was the main objective/subject. I even extended my reach (and columns) to the Daily Gotham -another website I felt was committed to local political information dissemination- and to other sites requesting the right to publish any column of mine that they felt was viable. I never refused such a request and even some local periodicals joined the request line.
I made it mandatory that my students in various programs and institutions had to familiarize themselves with these sites, plus all the links offered. I tried my best to show the efficacy of blogging. I tried my darndest to introduce as many people as I possibly could to the blogs, and I suspect many of said people make up the core of my fan-base. I suspect this is one of the rubs on some of my detractors; after all, it was openly stated that they would drive me off the blogs eventually. And it surely didn’t help when I exposed my position against same-sex marriage a few years aback, since more attacks came.
When the flare-ups and firefights between my detractors and myself became unbearable for many of my supporters here, many of them requested that I e-mail them my column(s), so that they wouldn’t have to come up to Room Eight to view the absurd pissing-contests.
Some of them described Howard “Gatemouth” Graubard as the little kid in summer-camp who kept trying to get into penis size comparisons (contests) in the showers; since he genuinely thought he had the biggest dick there. You see, the perception of many is that Gatemouth truly believes that he is the smartest writer here; and is bent on trying to prove it: and that’s why he is the way he is; and especially with me and my columns.
One of the ways I have dealt with detractors in the past was to try to rub their noses in the ground (so to speak), whenever I got a political call correct. Like say a special election, or a primary, or a general election or something of that nature. Then I realized it only made matters worse. It really didn’t help at all. I have more or less stopped that now.
Despite all my best efforts and intentions to end hostilities, the ragging never stopped. The attacks always seemed to come with some type of justification attempted: in other words, I was the cause. I was too self-important for some of my detractors. I was too pompous for others. It appeared as though the vultures were always waiting for something to pounce on. They slice, diced and (like mice) nibbled on my every column and its every phrase: for what reason? You regular readers must now conclude for yourself. You have been subjected to it (like I have) for years.
I have tried to offer conclusions and explanations for this level of persistent harassment but to no avail. I have made request upon request for it to cease, again to no avail. I even suggested that the editors have a comprehensive registration process whereby only serious and identifiable respondents (using their real names) could comment. I am certain this would lead to improving the quality of the discourse in the comments sections; but alas my suggestion was rejected. The anonymous attackers hiding behind their Klu Klux Klan (KKK) masks have succeeded in one thing: they have strengthened my resolve not to be bullied off the blogs.
Recently I made a qualified suggestion that the blogger named Howard “Gatemouth” Graubard, and that serial harasser going by the initials “JP” might just be one and the same; it was not an unequivocal suggestion. And then Gatemouth goes to great lengths to get one of the editors here (Ben Smith) to state that the IP numbers from the computers where these two serial harassers do their dirty deeds, are not the same. So I defer to Ben since he is credible. And yet my scalpel of skepticism says that Gate is irascible enough to pull off two different IP numbers, in order to disguise his mischief. So yes, I do defer to Ben but with reservations. I am not some technology-buff but I suspect it could be done.
And now “Mr. Anointed” Howard (“Gatemouth”) Graubard, who is the same as “Mr. Appointed” -since he appointed and anointed himself as my internet harasser; my blog-site terrorizer- wants an apology for my suggestion that he and JP may be one. Imagine this: I must apologize to the person who has abused me here for years. Well here is my apology: fuck you Gatemouth.
You were the one who started all this when you accused me (libelously) of stealing specks from the NYC Board of Election in 2000. I am sorry I didn’t sue your monkey ass when you did; despite your later lame attempt at an apology.
You were the one who challenged my credentials, my analysis, my education, my professional pursuits, my political activism, my political affiliations, my associations, et al. YOU.
You are the one who consistently tries to denigrate the quality of my columns and the plausibility of my analysis. YOU.
Even now you refuse to even admit that the umpteen columns you have written using me as the subject of your ridicule and derision, amount to obsession and harassment. You are the person who professed to befriend me in Denver, knowing my financial situation then, and the fact that I had no lap top -and that I was having a hard time getting access to a computer in order to write more columns- still went on line to anonymously criticize me for not being a prolific reporter from the convention. You are a sick person who suffers from multiple-personality disorder. And yes: one of those personalities could be as much racist as it is Zionist.
You are the one who constantly suggests that I often libel and slander people: from judges, to elected officials, to even Hilary Clinton and her husband. YOU. Now you say that Tish James was libeled and slandered by me.
Tish James is a lawyer. A lawyer who -I am told- sued a van owner whose parked van she walked into. A lawyer who did all of Brooklyn county’s dirty election work, knocking insurgents off the ballot. And she is not going to sue a brash insurgent for slander if she had a case. You also say I slandered you; so go for it: sue me. And call the Clintons also: let them join the crowd. Make my friggin day.
You, who said I immorally published the address of a New York Judge sitting on the bench for years, now call me a psychopath and an imbecile (your words). But who is the imbecile here.
You know that the law states that one cannot reside in New Jersey and sit on the New York bench. You know this. And yet, you look at the New Jersey address I momentarily and deliberately published, and couldn’t understand that if the Judge did reside where I “suggested” she did, then she was breaking the very laws she was supposed to be upholding. So you were more concerned with pointing out my “bad journalism”, and not concerned about the possibilities of such an address being valid. NICE.
You are the one who lies about what I write in column after column by taking snippets of my writings to boringly try to prove your case that I am a terrible columnist. YOU.
You are the one who writes long dissertations about me and my columns trying to discredit me as a writer and activist. YOU. I don’t do all this: you do. I respond because I refuse to let you or anyone walk over me here on these blogs.
Here is another example; you recently said that I never wrote about Kendall Stewart’s problems with his staffers who stole city funds, because he was a friend of mine; but what are the facts? I have mentioned Kendall’s problems quite a few times in different columns I published. Another blatant lie on your part: why? What does it get you? If you think that I am not a good writer, that’s fine; since you are entitled to your opinion. Pray tell us what is the real motivation behind all this? Why are you obsessing over it so much? Are you envious of my fan base bro?
I wasn’t the one who did the survey that found me to be one of the most popular bloggers in NYC: that was NBC. I am sure they found you as popular if not more popular: I don’t know, but it surely doesn’t bother me if they did. We were both selected by the DNCC (as bloggers) to cover the Denver convention; so what else do you want? Even Adam Greene did a “Lunchbox” spoof on you and I; so you got your name in lights by trying to attach yourself to my hips; now, enough already.
And now you recruit the brain dead Mary Alice Miller to your cause. A woman who lacks the integrity to apologize for writing that I called her a racist; knowing full well it isn’t true: a woman who refuses to do so even when various individuals on this very blog, called her out on it. A woman who has made accusation after accusation about things I have written and when challenged to furnish the proof never apologizes for her misinterpretations. A woman who I recruited to write here and did everything in my power to get her started: some friend.
Mary Alice Miller wasn’t around when all this crap was started by you; she knows nothing of your idiosyncratic behaviors. She knows nothing as to the genesis of your blog-maladies. She is now your apologist and your pawn. Good for you but bad for this site.
It is obvious that Gatemouth blogs here because he enjoys the attacks on other writers. Instead of doing some of collective things I suggested here, like theme writing, or debating an issue every month or so; he continues to go after me and my columns. He must be getting a cerebral orgasm from all this. That’s the twisted perverted mind I am up against.
Maybe some of you guys write here for the accolades: I don’t. Or maybe some of you guys write for the 15 minutes of media glory: I don’t. When I was a teenager I represented the land of my birth (Trinidad) at an international chess event; after that, any extra minutes of media glory is going downhill for me bro. I was getting media coverage before I got to my teens.
So Howard, if you are awaiting some kinda apology from me, well, please don’t hold your breath. On second thought: do hold your breath. I am sure you will then end up in the Guinness book of records for breath-holding; since an apology will be a long time a’comin.
Do not stay tuned-in to this crap folks: I am tired of all this. And yet I suspect Gatemouth will be back, so I reserve the right to ignore or respond. That’s my prerogative.