I know I’ve been hard on my State Senator, Dan “Nicely Nicely” Squadron, but his nominating speech for John Sampson was really something to behold:
Squadron: (Starting Trumpet in the distance–for the tune, think Fugue for Tinhorns):
Don’t say the guy’s a bum,
his name is John Sampson,
And to deny him would be really dumb,
Can do,
Can do,
I tell you my horse can do,
If I say my horse can do,
Can do,
Can do
Can do.
Can do,
Can do,
I say that this whore can do
If I say the whore can do,
Can do,
Can do.
For John Sampson I'll bite,
I hear his word’s all right.
Of course it all depends on what you paid last night.
Likes cash
Likes cash,
His debts means the whore likes cash,
If that means my horse likes cash,
Likes cash,
Likes cash.
I'll tell you John Sampson,
collects a king’s ransom,
and if you pay you’re gonna get you some.
This guy says the whore likes cash,
likes cash,
likes cash,
John Sampson,
Don’t say he’s a bum.
He’s selling Aqueduct,
Cause he ain’t no schmuck,
bad publicity, he don’t give a fuck
Has balls,
Has balls,
This guy says has some real big ball,
give cash and he’ll take you calls,
Has balls,
Has balls.
He’s selling Aqueduct,
cause we’re shit out of luck.
If the press calls, then we’re gonna have to duck.
Race baits,
race baits,
needs excuse fore it gets too late.
Hope a jury won’t hold his fate,
race baits,
race baits.
We’re selling Aqueduct,
Cause we’re shit out of luck,
ethics, we really don’t give a fuck.
No chance,
no chance,
we’ve collected a big advance.
Aqueduct,
I got the whore right here.
Just read his Epitaph,
and please try not to laugh,
switch your vote and he’ll give you half,
Big debt,
no sweat,
so long as our beaks stay wet.
The Post says we have big debt,
Big threat
no sweat.
And just a minute boys,
I've got the election noise,
It says that our lawyer’s run out of ploys.
No class,
No class,
Dean Skelos really kicked our ass,
our excuses just barely pass,
no class,
no class.
So write our Epitaph,
even if wrong by half,
The GOP will be getting the last horse laugh.
Epitaph
I got the whore right here