Well, despite the best efforts of Malcolm Smith to bring about Republican control of the State Senate sooner, it took Republican an entire six months to get the deed done, courtesy of their signing the team of Pedro Espada and Hiram Monserrate, who shall from now on be referred to in this department as the “Aztec Two-Step.”
It was an astonishing display of "Brown Power." Indeed, when it comes to role models in leading a legislature, each Party Leader in the NYS Senate has a Brown as his avatar. In Dean Skelos' case, it is Willie (who pulled off the same maneuver in California only about a dozen or so times), in Malcolm's case, Gordon.
Smith has called the vote illegal and says he will be filing a lawsuit. Nonetheless, no matter who is correct concerning the legalities of today's vote, and no matter how the courts rule, any decision is unlikely to alter the ultimate result, which is dependent upon a law which is outside of the Court's jurisdiction, and by that I mean the immutable law of mathematics which states unequivocally that 32 is greater than 30. All the rest is mere dicta. Unless one is willing to permanently shut down the Senate, eventually there will be a vote that is indisputably legal. Better Smith should try to persuade two Senators than four Judges.
Most disappointed by these events were the Two-Step’s former cohorts, Carl and the Passion (no longer pluralized), AKA Carl Kruger and Ruben Diaz, who, channeling Plunkitt in reverse, seen their opportunities and missed ‘em.
Following the coup, when every Democrat but the Two-Step was expected by their leadership (perhaps a misnomer) to exit Egypt and spend another forty years wandering in hopes of again finding the Promised Land, the Two-Step were for a time joined on the floor by their old cohorts, Carl and the Passion, now seemingly attempting to join the gang-bang in the hopes of procuring some sloppy seconds (Diaz apparently deciding upon civil union with Kruger, as long as he didn‘t have to marry him). Later they were said to have joined Espada at his office for drinks and discussion; ever friendly, Pedro is said to even have invited Malcolm Smith to down a native cocktail called a Pinga Colonic.
One suspects the Republicans might consider being generous with the two extra potential recruits, since unless they are really looking for worse publicity than the inevitable presented by folks being escorted out of their office by State Troopers, they will probably follow the lead of the Dems in conserving funds by refraining from giving Monserrate a lulu until he resolves some issues at home.
However, it is equally likely that the Republicans will do the math and explain to Kruger that coffee is for closers, not order takers, and that the last to arrive at the table does not get to chair Finance, unless he’s the one who made the minyan.
I’d like to say it was nice while it lasted, but was it really? If Smith was going to blow the leadership, would not it have been better to do so on a matter of advancing principles (say, same sex marriage), rather than on a matter of advancing principals (the coup came just as the Dems were on the brink of distributing some new cuts of pork to their membership)?
So, like Lazarus rising form the dead, the Albany Bi-Partisan Iron Triangle is back. Rumor has it that the Senate Republicans will celebrate by passing some one-house bills, a practice just yesterday considered anachronistic (one can’t risk passing legislation for symbolic purposes, hoping it will die, when there’s a good chance an accident might occur and the other house will join you and make the damned thing a law).
Sadly, one Republican member, Marty Golden, is sure to be disappointed that a bill he pushed hard earlier in the year is now DOA (the text of which follows):
“Whereas members of the New York State Senate should aspire to the highest
standards of personal and moral conduct; and
Whereas Senate members should, by their conduct, serve as examples to the
citizens of the State; and
Whereas Hiram Monserrate, a New York State Senator Elect, has been charged
with feloneous assault in an alleged incident of domestic violence; and
Whereas Senator elect Monserrate would be expelled from the Senate
pursuant to law if he is convicted of a felony; and
Whereas Hiram Monserrate has until January 30, 2009 to file his oath of
office without forfeiting his Senate seat; and
Whereas the public interest demands that Senator elect Monserrate not sit
with the body until the serious criminal charge pending against him is
resolved; and
Whereas the Legislative Law provides that the Senate may expel any member
after a committee shall have investigated the charges against the senator;
now therfore be it
Resolved that the members of the New York State Senate hereby express their
strong advice that Senator elect Monserrate shall not sit with the body
until the criminal charge pending against him is finally disposed of; and
be it further
Resolved that a suitably engrossed copy of this resolution be delivered to
Hiram Monserrate.”
(Note to Lead Dog: Yes, I do know the difference between a Boriqueno and a Mexicano, but "Taino Two-Step" lacked the necessary pungeance.)