Forget Christie Love (GOP Convention, Night One)

Final count, which the Republicans refused to announce: Romney 2,061, Paul 202.  

Though Romney did throw Paul a bone on the gold standard, the Paul complaint has a few other legitimate prongs: all the delegates Paul won by mastering the stupid rules should have been seated, and Paul’s name should have been allowed to be put into nomination.

However, the GOP establishment is right about one thing. Holding primaries and then allowing delegates supporting the loser to be chosen by well organized fringe mobs is just plain stupid, and they were right to fix it.  Why Didn’t the GOP Throw Ron Paul a Bone? Even a Small One?  www.slate.com 

 

 

 

Summary of Boehner Speech: We did build that.

Boy am I drunk.  

 

 

 

Summary of Kasich speech:

I was Budget Chair in 97 when we balanced the budget. (No mention of what his Party did to it in 2001).

We need to balance the budget by cutting revenue.

I'm a working stiff who plays golf with the Vice President. 

I took away money from people who look like the President and gave it back to people who like me and you.    

 

 

 

Summary of other White Male GOP Governors: I am doing a great job preventing people who look the President from taking money from people who look like me and you.    

 

 

 

Summary of Nikki Haley’s speech:

We did build that

We manufacture a lot of tires (wonder who saved the auto-industry?)

Message: Brown people want to keep out brown people so, so it’s OK to bash immigrants.  

Message: We’re not against all people of color voting; just blacks 

Makes me wish she was hiking the Appalachian Trail.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

Santorum:

Romney will stop the assault on marriage (apparently by restricting the right to do it)

Romney will take us "Back to the Future" (apparently this is a good thing)

Rick likes holding hands, but not heavy petting.

Rick thinks people should delay having children until after they’re married, but wants to take away their every means of doing so.  

Rick proudly walked the walk of his pro-life religious beliefs, and now wants you to do the same, even if you don't share them. 

The President is taking money from people who look me and you and giving it to people who look like him.     

 

 

 

Judging by the excerpts published in advance, I thought someone had written Ann Romney a pretty good speech, even if the logic faltered when she implied good husbands make good presidents, when there is much historical evidence that one thing has little to do with the other. 

Having read the best parts, I was tempted to turn it off when I saw the subliminally suggestive red dress, which would have been for the best, as I would have missed the long excerpt from “Back to the Future, Part Two.”   

There was a call out to woman, but it was a call out to June Cleaver and those who wish they were her.  

I could also have done without the reprise of “he did build that.” 

The speech's suject matter was "love". Literally, as well as as metaphorically. We learn that Mitt is so modest he doesn’t want people to know about all he does to help others.  

At last, we learn the real reason why he won’t release those tax returns.  

And Ann may be the only person in America who thinks Mitt can be funny intentionally.  

However, the Freudian slip indicates she really still finds him sexy—go figure. (Or was that slip intentional?) Read Excerpts of Ann Romney's Speech  www.slate.com   

 

 

 

Live Blogging Fat Bastard:

This convention has something for everyone.

Ann Romney made the case for love; Chris Christie makes the case against it. 

I have to like Christie. He's the only one there who acknowledged that solutions require sacrifice for all of us as well as for them and that there is a hard road ahead.   

No wonder he's not on the ticket. He may actually be the real Ryan.  

Uh oh—he just started pandering to seniors, and complaining about the Dems scaring the old folks when it was his party who talked about death panels and Medicare cuts.

Now, he’s complaining about the government putting itself between doctors and patients, when it is only making sure patients have doctors.  

It was too good to last.    

 

 

 

Another Romney Flip-Flop:

He now opposes crashing the other guy's convention  About crashing the other guy's convention … www.politico.com    

 

 

 

Sadly, the Todd Akin breastmilk as a cure for homosexuality story is a spoof  

And I was hoping against hope it wasn’t a prank. After all, Bloomie could use an ally in his war against bottle feeding.  

I especially loved this line: “Lesbians can be cured by drinking something else…I’ll leave that one to your imagination.”

Sorry to say, but I suspect this liquid may have created more lesbians than it has cured. Todd Akin Claims Breastmilk Cures Homosexuality gilmoure.tumblr.com