Room Eight | Author | Gatemouth

Ms. Rocky Raccoon and Her Consiglieri

Gatemouth | September 4, 2008

I apologize for tonight's focus on Rudy, but every time I ponder the thought of Mike Huckabee not taking a shower, or consider the intellectual labor of deconstructing Ms. Rocky Raccoon's impersonation of the Senior Class Chair trying to declare a cultural Jihad, I get a bit woozy.

It's nearly impossible to caricature a caricature.

Much more pleasurable to poke fun at the patent insincerity of the Cigar-bar hopping/former roomate of two gay men/Big Apple Mayor trying to look sincere making an issue of Godlessness and cultural elitism (he's much better at riling up the Jews, with a false accusation that Obama had drawn a moral equivalnct between Israelis and Palestinians–betcha his party won't be repeating that one in Dearborn).

Geography Lesson

Gatemouth | September 4, 2008

“The Democratic leader — the Democratic leader of the Senate said, and I quote, ‘This war is lost.’

Well, well, if America lost, who won, Al Qaida, bin Laden?”– Rudy Giuliani–9/3/08

Does this guy ever tire of being a douche bag?

No, Rudolph, bin Laden and Al Qaida did not win the war in Iraq.

Those bastards are winning the war in Afghanistan. The one your party abandoned to go hunting (to coin a metaphor) where the ducks ain’t.

Accepting Good Advice

Gatemouth | September 4, 2008

“A lying sack of shit may best be shown for what he is by stating the facts, but using greater discretion in characterizing him. More people might pay attention to the valuable factual argument.” —A Reader Offering Constructive Criticism

“Of great concern to me, during those same four days in Denver, they rarely mentioned the attacks of September 11, 2001. They are in a state of denial about the biggest threat that faces this country. And if you deny it and you don't deal with it, you can't face it.”—Rudy Giuliani 9/3/08

“For while Senator McCain was turning his sights to Iraq just days after 9/11, I stood up and opposed this war, knowing that it would distract us from the real threats we face. When John McCain said we could just ‘muddle through’ in Afghanistan, I argued for more resources and more troops to finish the fight against the terrorists who actually attacked us on 9/11, and made clear that we must take out Osama bin Laden and his lieutenants if we have them in our sights. John McCain likes to say that he'll follow bin Laden to the Gates of Hell – but he won't even go to the cave where he lives.”–Barack Obama in Denver 8/28/08

The Decider II

Gatemouth | September 4, 2008

“Then he ran for — then he ran for the state legislature and he got elected. And nearly 130 times, he couldn't make a decision. He couldn't figure out whether to vote 'yes' or 'no.' It was too tough.

He voted — he voted 'present.'

I didn't know about this vote 'present' when I was mayor of New York City. Sarah Palin didn't have this vote 'present' when she was mayor or governor. You don't get 'present.' It doesn't work in an executive job. For president of the United States, it's not good enough to be present.

HEZBOLLAH (The Party of God)

Gatemouth | September 3, 2008

“And we need a president who doesn’t think that the protection of the unborn or a newly born baby is above his pay grade.

The man who will be that president is John McCain.”–Fred Thompson–9/2/08

WARREN: Now, let’s deal with abortion; 40 million abortions since Roe v. Wade. As a pastor, I have to deal with this all of the time, all of the pain and all of the conflicts. I know this is a very complex issue. Forty million abortions, at what point does a baby get human rights, in your view?

OBAMA: Well, you know, I think that whether you’re looking at it from a theological perspective or a scientific perspective, answering that question with specificity, you know, is above my pay grade.

Fred Thompson With His Head Up His Ass Smoking a Crack Pipe

Gatemouth | September 3, 2008

“Together, they would take on these urgent challenges with protectionism, higher taxes and an even bigger bureaucracy.

And a Supreme Court that could be lost to liberalism for a generation.”–Fred Thompson 9/2/08

With 2.5 Justices who’ve still not acknowledged the repeal of the Articles of Confederation; 1.5 willing to acknowledge the death of Herbert Hoover, but not his policies; one trying to personify a weather vane which veers to the right, two Eisenhower Republican (one 88 years old) and two Eisenhower Democrats (one with cancer), can we at least acknowledge that what’s at stake here is whether or not we will have a court lost to radical conservatism for a generation?

John “Janus” McCain

Gatemouth | September 3, 2008

“My Democratic friends know all about John’s record of independence and accomplishment. Maybe that’s why some of them are spending so much time and so much money trying to convince voters that John McCain is someone else. I’m here, as a Democrat myself, to tell you: Don’t be fooled.

God only made one John McCain, and he is his own man.”–Joe Lieberman–9/2/08

JOHN MCCAIN'S MANHOOD:

1999: “in the short term, or even the long term, I would not support repeal of Roe v. Wade.”

2008: Favors a Constitutional Amendment banning abortion with exceptions–rape incest and saving the life of the mother. In a move exemplifying the Republican version of diversity, his running mate opposes even those exceptions.

Reminder

Gatemouth | September 3, 2008

THE GREAT DEBATE –21^st AD State Senate

Thursday, September 4, 8:00 PM at the 41st AD Democratic Club
2952 Ave R cornier of Haring Street one block east of Nostrand

Fighting Senator Kevin “Dap” Parker defends his title against Councilman Simcha “The Toomler” Felder and Councilman Kendall “Doctor Foots” Stewart.

With control of the State Senate at stake, this race presents important questions.

Given the history of party disloyalty by some of the candidates; can they all be trusted to vote with the Democrats to organize the Senate?

Sarah Eagleton (Updated again)

Gatemouth | September 2, 2008

At dinner tonight to celebrate my son’s 5½ birthday and his start of kindergarten in the morning (the Dybbuk asked to be taken for sushi), I came up with this title, but the onslaught of upcoming events, including the dreaded return to work, prevented me from posting the idea before someone else already had.

So, "Sarah Eagleton", the numbers:

299 google entries

generating 61, once similar entries are eliminated

Number related to the Governor’s current condition: 4

Today’s interesting stories: once having belonged to a group advocating Alaskan independence (apparently now disputed) and lawyering up for the Troopergate investigation (please no jokes about whether Client #9 is the daddy!).

Convention Leftover #4: Anniversaries

Gatemouth | September 1, 2008

The night of Barack Obama’s acceptance speech at Invesco appropriately coincided with both the 45 anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech and the 100^th birthday of former President Lyndon Baines Johnson.

As it should have, King’s anniversary got a full bore salute, featuring two of King’s children, as well as Civil Rights pioneer John Lewis.

Johnson’s birth got a two minute voice-over in the early afternoon.

Given the tragedy of the war in Vietnam, echoed as it is today by our War in Iraq, I suppose fans of Johnson should feel thankful he got even that.