Infomerical

Dateline: Denver, Colorado – 8/26/08 – 1:15 PM Mountain Time 

It’s not been a great day, although, on the good side, I finally discovered the Microsoft Specialty Media Lounge, complete with good wifi, free coffee and box lunches.

On the other hand, I misplaced all my info concerning the non-transferable events I RSVPed to without being invited. Actually got turned down by Rahm’s Chicago Blues Event.

A Gatemouth barred from the blues; I should alert the Irony Police.

Also misplaced my John McCain condom (I kid you not) before I got to use it. Plus Domestic Partner called to complain about all the sly references I'd made to other women. While on the phone, she added that I failed to mention any of the speeches.

Participating in an infomercial is a demanding exercise; Security Volunteers in yellow vests, including former Dinkins Jewish Affairs Guru Herbie Block(when Block was replaced in the Mayor’s Office by Phil Saperia, a Williamsburg Rabbi told me, “in the past, when the Jewish community needed something, they ran straight into a Block, but now we get Saperia service”) hand out the appropriate signs with the appropriate instructions, “Don’t waive the Kennedy signs” I was told emphatically, “until after the Kennedy film.”

The Kennedy film needed some editing; should have cut the part on the sailboat–no one really needs to have the subliminal suggestion generated by Teddy and water. Kennedy's speech may have been more impressive for its existence than its contents, but even my eyes were not dry.

Also more impressive for its existence than its content was the speech by RINO Congressman Jim Leach, a man more boring than a mashed potato sandwich on Wonder Bread w/mayo.

As to Michelle, it was making lemonade out of lemons. The fact that she needed to make such a speech was not a good thing; that being said, it was a grand slam, from the subliminally suggestive BLUE dress (rather than black, orange and green) and the “Last Hurrah”-like interjections from the youngest child, which recalled a non-satanic version of Andrew Giuliani’s appearance at his dad’s 1994 inauguration. I’m hoping against hope that the little girls interjections were spontaneous, making it the one non-scripted event of the evening.

My favorite speech: Illinois State Senator Emil Jones, proud mentor, speaking from the heart.

Gotta go now, the free DNC blogger barbeque awaits.