When I was a Republican back in Brooklyn we had a county leader named Arthur Bramwell who was a soft spoken honest gentleman. But don’t ever get him angry because that is when he became a tough guy shouting out things like I am going to have to cut that back stabbers throat wide open or calling one spineless elected official a cream puff.
It makes you wonder what the late county leader would say about President Obama. Well at this point I think he would call him Mr. Softee as in the ice cream truck company. Yes the president is so inclined to cave into demands of extremist Republicans that he seems so very soft. You can almost envision that when he walks into a room you don’t hear the band strike up Hail To The Chief but instead plays the Mr. Softee Ice Cream truck jingle.
If you take it a step forward you can see the next Obama initiative with the Taliban and that is giving them free Mr. Softee ice cream. Yes instead of seeing thousands of armored vehicles crossing the deserts of Afghanistan you would see hundreds of Mr. Softee trucks music blaring driving up and down the roads of that country’s cities and villages.
It almost makes you yearn for the Bush Junior years when we would use tax payer cash to bribe foreign friends and enemies alike while private security machine gunned innocent civilians and our corporations strip mined occupied countries of their oil and mineral wealth. Now what we have is the slow death of our enemies through obesity and related diseases caused from sucking down all that creamy milk fat filled Mr. Softee ice cream.
How can the president’s handlers toughen up his image? Well maybe throw some hard nuts on those Mr. Softee ice cream cones or start selling hard ice cream rather than the soft kind. Back in the 1980s there was a book Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche well maybe a book should come out that Real Men Don’t Eat Soft Ice Cream. Everyone knows that tough guys reach for a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. I mean do you want a leader who is going to lick a melting mound of soft ice cream or one that punches a metal spoon into a frozen rock solid pint of hard ice cream. The choice is obvious.