Help I Am Turning Into A European!

According to T.R. Reid in his book the United States of Europe the English writer Zoe Heller wrote Help I Am Turning into An American which inspired me to write something along a similar line only from a perspective of this side of the Atlantic.  For simplicity’s sake I wrote this in list format.  So here are the reasons I believe I am turning into a European: 

I am against war.

 

I don’t like the death penalty.

 

I don’t like SUVs.

 

I believe American food companies are poisoning us.

 

I believe in the environment.

 

I believe in sustainable energy.

 

When I lived in a city I used to weekend in the country.

 

I don’t like guns.

 

I didn’t like George W. Bush.

 

I didn’t like the Iraq War.

 

I don’t like that French fries are called freedom fries in Yankee Stadium.

 

I believe in same sex marriage.

 

I believe in separation of church and state.

 

I don’t chant USA USA while watching the Olympics.

 

I believe in universal human rights.

 

I believe we should have signed the Kyoto Agreement.

 

I like the Euro.

 

I like seamless borders.

 

I think the French are quite OK.

 

I like preserving historical and cultural heritage sites.

 

I like the Beatles.

 

I like organic farming.

 

I would rather have armies of doctors than armies of soldiers.

 

I like diversity.

 

I believe Europe has better healthcare.

 

I believe Europeans live longer than us.

 

I believe they work less than us but have higher productivity.

 

I would rather take a super train to Boston or D.C. than a car or plane.

 

I like having Roman ruins all over the place.

 

I want to know more than one language.

 

I believe in evolution.

 

I like the U.N.

 

I could go on but you get the point.  Now ask yourself the same questions and see if you have to shout out help!