A man outside a polling place hands a voter a palm card. “Have I got a political party for you” (imagine the voice of Gilbert Gottfried) 

“Well”, said the voter, “why don’t you tell me about it.”

“Well our party was started as an ego trip by an megalomaniacal multi-millionaire. His main campaign operative has been called ‘The State of the Art Washington Sleaze Bag’ by New Republic, but the operative’s most famous for the personal ads run he's run with his wife seeking partners to satisfy their deviant sexual urges; and when he’s not trying to get his family laid by strangers, he’s busy funneling Republican money to Al Sharpton.”

"Hey, I had one too many, and I thought I was seeing double”

In an effort to curtail problems caused by her husband’s speeding, Republican Attorney General hopeful Jeanine Pirro announced that from now on a former top aide would serve as her husband’s driver: Kevin “One for My Baby and One for the Road” Hynes. Hynes stated he would also be using his expertise to help Al Pirro get re-admitted to the Bar. “There’s not a Bar anywhere in the Country they can keep me out of” said Hynes. Reached for Comment, Hynes’s father, the Brooklyn DA refused to comment about his son, but denied he would be requesting appointment of a special prosecutor to investigate allegations he had celebrated dismissal of Sandra Roper’s lawsuit by lighting cigars with the remaining $200 of Judge John Phillips’ estate ignited over the burning embers of Mark Green’s political career. “You’ve got to stop reading Maurice Gumbs”, laughed Hynes, “He’s as credible as the Jeff Feldman indictment.” Hynes' companion, identified only as "Dennis", then put his cigar out in my face.

Since September 11^th, admirers of former Mayor Rudy Giuliani have become such hero worshippers that nothing, least of all Rudy’s record or his public pronouncements, seem to diminish their ardor.

The latest example of such nonsense appears in Friday’s New York Sun.

A previous unknown to me, believer in the cult of St. Rudy, James Coll writes of how, if only Rudy had remained Mayor, the hole that is Ground Zero would no longer be an empty pit.

I once heard Tom Seaver, providing color commentary on a baseball game, describe some advice a pitching coach had once given him. “What’s the best pitch in baseball?” the coach asked. “The fastball,” he said. “What’s the second best pitch in baseball?” he asked again. “The fastball,” he once again answered his own question. His point, Seaver said, was not to forget the fastball. Major league pitchers know they need a good second pitch to succeed, so often they focus on their off-speed pitch, whether a curve, slider or change-up, to the exclusion or near exclusion of the fastball. And that’s a mistake, because it’s the fastball that makes the whole thing work.

“Chris Callaghan just told me that when he first put out the press release accusing Alan Hevesi of chauffering his wife around on the state dime, he didn’t actually know if it was true. Had Hevesi denied it, Callaghan said, he would have dropped the matter. (Whether or not his sort would have sought another outlet is a different matter.)

In retrospect, Callaghan says, he thinks Hevesi owned up to the discretion for one simple reason:‘He didn’t know what I knew.’"

Azi Paybarah (9/28/06)

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Well, I’m not voting for Callahan. Not because he bluffed, but because he admitted it. Those who take smug satisfaction in bragging about winning a poker pot by bluffing never win another one. He clearly lacks the savvy to ferret out corruption and waste. Wonder who the Libertarians are running.

Normally, I'd lay off a target as easy as Jeanine Pirro, because joining a gangbang is just not my style. I'd rather do the iconoclastic and unexpected, like be the first Democrat to call for Alan Hevesi's head. However, that very iconoclasm often causes others to unfairly accuse me of closet Republican tendencies, so I guess I'll just have to slip on spiritual condom and partake in some sloppy seconds.

I'd been planning a Pirro piece for a long time, but given the beating I'd given Andrew Cuomo during the primary, I'd wanted to write it with enough care to credibly explain why a guy (1) I'd essentially accused of behaving like a mobster, and (2) who regarded the office as a consolation prize, should be Attorney General of the State of New York. Thank you, Jeanine Pirro, for saving me the trouble!

Seeing these stories today, my question is – forget about Bloomberg leaving the GOP and running for President as an independent, is Rudy going to do it instead?

The political fallout for Jeanine Pirro was swift yesterday – a planned fund-raiser to be hosted by former Mayor Rudy Giuliani was abruptly canceled.

"We’re not going forward," a source close to the former mayor said of the Oct. 3 event.

Giuliani Defends Bill Clinton After Heated Interview, Says Focus Should Remain on Terrorism

As I wrote here, one of New York City’s biggest economic problems is a shortage of jobs accessible to the unskilled, and thus its low level of employment and labor force participation. In many ways, Upstate New York is the city’s mirror image. It has a lower poverty rate and a higher employment rate, but it has a shortage of high-paid jobs and jobs for young college graduates, the very economic base New York City – primarily Manhattan – has in abundance. Among those growing up Upstate, the average person completing their education probably has more of it than the national average. It is migration – the type of people who move out, and the type of people who don’t move in – that is responsible for the fact that the share of Upstate residents with college diplomas is lower than in the rest of the state. Upstate college graduates, and those with exceptional non-scholastic skills, tend to leave, and few arrive from elsewhere. That is the real problem in Upstate New York.

I am a registered democrat; I vote in all of my party’s primaries. I generally vote along party lines in most general elections. I would say that I am over 90% loyal to my party line. I am not voting for Alan Hevesi this year. In last night’s gubernatorial debate Eliot Spitzer was wrong not to call for Hevesi’s resignation as New York State Comptroller. With Hevesi admitting to having taken a public employee and using him as a personal chauffeur (among other tasks) for his wife; and doing this for years, on public time and with public dimes, has rendered Hevesi unfit to hold this office. John Faso was correct in calling for his resignation. Hevesi has abused the public trust.

A place for those who want to send a message by voting for Alan Hevesi and Jeanine Pirro on the same line.