If you look up the word “mulligan” in the dictionary, you would find that it is a re-taken golf shot; or better still: a shot that- against the rules- a golfer allows an opponent to take again. Bill Clinton is known to take many mulligans when playing friendly games of golf; his wife (Hillary Rodham Clinton) seems to have learned this bad habit quite well. It is all about changing the rules in mid game, especially when things aren’t going their way. It’s about refining techniques that give them an unfair advantage in any competitive event. It is cheap, low and crass.
If Billary were to go to any toy store to purchase a device for their pleasure, what they would find is that in near all devices sold: “batteries are not included”. So after Tuesday’s primaries (Texas, Ohio, Rhode Island and Vermont), all rational Democrats need to emphatically make the case- to both Bill and Hillary Clinton- that mulligans (just like batteries) are not included in the rules of this year’s primary elections.
I must admit that I have been having big fun during this election cycle. I have been amused when watching the many “Clintonistas”, running around the talk shows, spinning deluded tales of audacious hopes for best case scenarios, while seemingly oblivious to the harsher reality: Billary’s candidacy is dead; long live the dead.
By now, even my many detractors on these here blogs, must grudgingly admit, that when I told you all that Super-Tuesday would be Hillary’s “Waterloo”: I was absolutely correct. Likewise when I said that many Clintonistas would not recognize this demise; ditto when I did my last memo (to Billy-Bob), stating that she was (like Sonny Liston) knocked out on her feet, and the towel (of resignation) should be thrown into the ring. Hillary Clinton’s candidacy has been dead since before Christmas Day last, now she is looking for Jesus Christ to pull another one of his Lazarus acts: aint gonna happen kid; sorry.
When I predicted that she will be punished for her New Hampshire chicanery, and for touching the Holy Grail (Martin Luther King) of black (and some white) people, with her desperate and condescending remarks, some detractors suggested that I was being blasphemous: how loud are they now? Some even suggested that I should be sued for libel and such. That’s why anonymous commenters should be disallowed on these here blogs: we could show those who like to terrorize political analysts here, how wrong they were (by name), and how ridiculous or stupid their remarks/critiques were; after the event is over of course. This would help in making people more responsible with their comments on these threads. There is a responsibility to blogging; anonymous commenters shouldn’t get a free pass.
After her cheap New Hampshire victory, Hillary Clinton got an old fashioned ass-whipping in South Carolina. The Clintonistas then stressed that Super Tuesday would be the end-game in this chess battle, while looking for mulligans in both Michigan and Florida. Then the Clintonistas moved the goal post again- after another whipping that day- suggesting that Texas, Ohio and Pennsylvania would be firewalls in their continued futile quest. This is so trite when you consider that she has lost fourteen contests in a row. This number includes the Virgin Islands. So now we arrive at mini-Tuesday, it’s forty-eight hours from now; let’s look at the pre-whipping spin emanating from the Clintonistas and their blindly loyal PR folks.
Already they are suggesting that even if she loses Texas, the campaign will continue. They have changed their tunes more times than a ragtime rag-tag band. They have changed their minds more times than Kobe Bryant’s accuser changed her panties that sordid weekend past. They are now suggesting that they will go all the way to the convention with this nonsensical fight, in hopes of persuading super-delegates to come their way, and also (maybe) persuading pledged delegates to stiff Barack Obama: what a brilliant strategy! Especially from a presidential candidate prepared to lead from day one.
Let me say, with the immortal words of former US president William Jefferson (Bill) Clinton: “give me a break”. Look, this fairy tale has stopped flying since super-Tuesday. The witch-broom had a flat tire; all the princes that were kissed have now become frogs again. Even if Hillary were to sweep Obama on Tuesday, she will still come up way short of the number of delegates she needs to resurrect her Lazarus-candidacy; but that’s not going to happen any which way. On Tuesday she may be the one on the receiving end of Barack’s sweeping “magic broom”, since the worst case scenario for Obama seems to be in winning only Texas and/ or Vermont. And for a long time I personally felt that Vermont was a good state for Hillary Clinton to pick up, but many many people told me that I was wrong in this regard.
In Rhode Island there are over 43,000 new registered voters; who do you think this favors? I don’t even think 43,000 voters came out in the last presidential primary held in this tiny state; but even if she does win there as the polls suggest, she gains only a smidgen of delegates on him at best: “whoop dee damn doo”.
Ohio is a must win for her moribund strategy, and I have sources on the ground telling me that Ohio is still competitive for Obama at the moment. What would they say if they were to lose one or both of their firewall states? That they want another mulligan? How long must we be subjected to this charade? Even if Hillary does her best on mini-Tuesday, she will gain maybe a handful of delegates on Obama; that’s how futile this effort is.
The Clintonistas are looking way beyond mini-Tuesday as they spin their fantasies. So let’s see what’s left over the next three months: Wyoming (3/08); Mississippi (3/11); Pennsylvania (4/22); Guam (5/03); North Carolina and Indiana (5/06);West Virginia (5/13); Kentucky (5/20); Puerto Rico (6/01); South Dakota and Montana (6/03). All of these eleven states appear to be competitive for Barack Obama; with Mississippi and North Carolina seemingly impossible for Billary to win. When combined,these states offer up less than 620 pledged delegates; at the moment Billary is down almost 200 pledged delegates. Given the general formula for obtaining delegates, it is impossible for Hillary Clinton to make up this deficit; no matter how many states she wins- from here on in- Barack Obama will be picking up delegates by the droves,in each and every state. What part of all this don’t they understand?
Look, I have already told you that Barack’s magic number has already been attained. I am sure that most democrats have had enough of Billary’s myopic tactics by now; and as I have said before: Barack Obama will get to the convention with more pledged delegates, more primary wins, more caucus wins and more raw votes than Hillary Clinton. What is her rationale for continuing this ridiculous fight: super-delegate nomination giveaways? Let’s get real folks; let’s get real.
So come Wednesday morning, all sensible democrats need to say to Billary’s candidacy, with loud clear voices: “REQUIESCAT IN PACE”. And for those of you who don’t recognize the Latin, or is unable to translate this phrase to English; it means: REST IN PEACE.
Stay tuned-in folks; although it isn’t fun to gawk at funeral processions.